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Weekend Brunch

by - Saturday, February 01, 2014

Undoubtedly, you've come across a few posts in the last few weeks about the changing nature of the blogosphere. Here was mine, here was Grace's and Alex had similar thoughts too.  While that topic deserves attention, what intrigues me even more is the timing of these posts. How is it that different people can "feel" the same thing at around the same time? And judging by the comments in those posts, its not just three people, its hundreds of us feeling the same way.

That serendipity is nothing I haven't encountered before. Have you ever had an idea in your head, thought it absolutely brilliant and unique, only to see another blogger post about the exact same thing? Its not really surprising, if you think about it. We are exposed to many similar things. We share the same interests of design and DIY, we read many of the same blogs, we likely watch the same TV programs, read the same magazines, and have somewhat overlapping fashion tastes. In essence, we receive many of the same "inputs" from the world around us... it would only make sense that some of us process that information in similar ways and create the same outputs, i.e. the thoughts and ideas we put out into the world.

But this brunch isn't about sameness, it's about the idea of speed. The "winners" in this world aren't those who do things best, its those who do things first. The first man on the moon, the first MTV video, the first boy you kissed... there are those who follow and do those things better, but the first is what lingers in your memory.

The first gets the attention
The first is deemed the original
The first is perceived as higher quality

Why then, aren't we achieving firsts in our own lives?

Because being first means trying something new (and that can be scary)
Because its easier to think and overthink an idea than to actually do it
Because we think our firsts aren't good enough

I'm not saying go out unprepared and float a half-baked idea. But there comes a point where any advantages you have of being the first can be lost, when similar folks are mulling over the same ideas in their head and its just a matter of who acts first. If you think you're the only one thinking what you're thinking, you're not. You can always finesse an idea and make improvements after you've launched it. But you can never ever be the first - second.

*****

Chloe has her first "frenemy", a friend/enemy. One minute, they are playing together at school, trading compliments, "I like your pink dress"... and the next, the girl is whispering "Don't play with Chloe. She is a mean girl".

Chloe and I had a discussion about it, lying on her bed, her head nestled on my arm as I clung to her like a protective mama bird.

"You know Chloe, what she says are just words and you can choose whether they hurt you or not"

"But they do Mommy!
They hurt my heart.
They break my heart!"

Sometimes, when a 4 year old has her heart broken in a way only 4 year olds can, you don't know what to say.

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