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by - Sunday, December 16, 2012

Thoughts of Friday's tragic events are still heavy on my mind. I can't imagine what the parents and families of Newtown are going through (and I really don't want to). So I turned off my TV for most of the weekend and spent the time instead hugging Chloe a little tighter, breathing in her laughter and silly games, and cherishing her innocence. The moments of childhood are fleeting and as a parent I don't always pay attention as much as I could have and should have. Every day is a gift. I need to remember that.

We spent Thursday night as a family, enjoying one of my favourite traditions, visiting the Toronto Christmas market. Like we did last year, we ventured out into the cold cold cold just as sunset hit and the lights became twinkling stars in the sky. We ate our way through the market, hitting our favourite stalls - the grilled cheese stall, the poutine booth - and kept ourselves warm with the hot chocolate we brought from home.

But this year brought something new. Chloe is of an age now where she can enjoy the rides so she took to the merry-go-round, but also the Ferris wheel. I can ride rollercoasters but something about the Ferris wheel puts my heart in my throat. But not my little girl. She never feared it for a moment, never reached out for Daddy's hand. I was scared for her, but this was one of those times when you let your child find her own limits, instead of holding her back with yours.

I will tuck these moments away. I'm so lucky to have that chance.

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